Sunday, September 22, 2013

The Importance of Wise Women

I was expecting my first baby, and naturally I wanted to do everything right.  I had all the necessities, felt materially prepared, but still was in awe of this birthing and parenting process.  Although I wanted to be viewed as competent, I was logical enough to know I didn't know everything and couldn't be expected to.
A family friend was visiting; she had known me as a small child and was a dear friend to my mother.  She had a warm but no-nonsense approach that made me feel secure around her.  I trusted her. We spent the afternoon talking about this and that, but every now and then she would offer some practical advise.  I had other women, older than me who periodically passed some small tidbit about motherhood down to me, like a precious jewel that you don't realize is a gem until it comes time to use it.  These women were a blessing to me.  Little by little, these Goddesses added more and more to my sense of assuredness and confidence that I could take on this incredibly difficult, life or death challenge, successfully. I began to wonder if other women have such women in their lives and do they recognize who they are and what value they hold?

It was so vital to my development to have these wise women in my life at this critical time.
This type of practical but positive influence was truly imperative during my growth period. In hind sight, I see that a great deal of my ability to mother effectively comes from these wonderful women.  My own mother and other mother figures in my life contributed to this pool of "wisdom".   This gathering of information, this sifting of the good grains from the bad, is our preparation work to feel our inner wise mother unfold.  We don't learn parenting from just books; we don't learn it from just our mother.  We can't just "wing it".  We must look through the volumes of information all the wise women in our lives have to offer.  We are then able to gather enough good and useful information to create our own volume on mothering.
Making it your own style is the next stage of development.  Learning to trust your own resources, your own voice is something I encourage not only in the new mothers who come to me for assistance, but also the experienced ones who are needing some more information to fill their book on parenting. We are always adding new material to our skill log when it comes to parenting and this is a good thing; for we are never wise enough not to do so.
Look around at the people in your life and examine what impact they could have on you positively, or have had on you already.  It is only when we make an effort to be aware of the value people bring to our life that we become conscious enough to recognize that we are not alone and we are supported by those around us.  Then we can utilize and personalize their knowledge that they offer, giving it credence and allowing them to make an impact.

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